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Thread: Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

  1. #1
    Super Moderator u1arunit's Avatar
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    Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

    Thought this might make you chuckle. Have a great Thanksgiving!


    John received a parrot as an early Christmas gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

    Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back.

    John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and shoved him in the freezer.


    For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

    The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said 'I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.'

    John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued....

    ......."May I inquire as to what the turkey did?'



    ~ Happy Thanksgiving to all ~ :)
    Mark
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  2. #2
    Senior Member scott5's Avatar
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    lol haha

  3. #3
    Senior Member Rodeheaver's's Avatar
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    haha... i love to read the clean ones...
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    Right Wing Nut Dragger Troll's Avatar
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  5. #5
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    Happy turkey day!!

  6. #6
    Right Wing Nut Dragger Troll's Avatar
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    This is the story of the first Thanksgiving, once again by my drunk grandpa:

    Many years ago...Christopher Columbus and his pilgrim buddies come to America on a boat called the Mayflower to live because the English King wouldn't let the Jewish people go.
    So Moses, who was a friend of Christopher Columbus, rented 3 boats: the Mayflower, the Santa Maria, and the USS Enterprise.
    When they landed on America, and indian squaw, named Sacagawea, met them and traded them pelts for beer, and then showed them how to de-gut a rabbit.
    That night her friends danced around with their boobs hanging out and balanced clay pots on their heads.
    The head pilgrim then baptized all the Indians to be Christians and they shot turkeys and played horseshoes.
    It was General Custer's birthday, and three Oriental Kings showed up with gifts of myrrh and other crap.
    Many pilgrims did not survive the first winter because they didn't have heat because Jimmy Carter who was president of the Pilgrims had an oil embargo.

    Sacagawea and her Indian friends burnt buffalo turds and heated the camp.
    The pilgrims was thankful.
    However it smelled so bad animals come outta the forest two by two.
    The Lord then made a rainbow appear, to show that he would never make turds burn again, and cause a horrible smell.
    Sacagawea fell in love with Kemosabe, and they were married on that first Thanksgiving, and lived in a tent with wheels. That's right.
    All the pilgrims were glad to be away from the king, and glad that they all landed right on Thanksgiving day.
    Charlton Heston was then elected president.

    My grandpa was REALLY drunk.
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  7. #7
    Marine Eng. Officer ArmyWarrant's Avatar
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    lol troll, Happy Turkey Day Everyone. Hope Everyone has a good one!
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    keyboard warrior Mater's Avatar
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    Senior Member RUTHLESS's Avatar
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    Happy Turkey Day Everyone!
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    Right Wing Nut Dragger Troll's Avatar
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  11. #11

    Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!

    Y'all
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  13. #13
    Senior Member wick's Avatar
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    HAHAHHA.

    When I was young my mom would always reach in the turkey and pull out the neck.She would then shout "Oh,look, its a boy!!!"

    HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
    Rob
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    Senior Member no1fordgirl's Avatar
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    Those are great stories!

    Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!






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    F'in Catalina Yacht Mixer 94svtcobra's Avatar
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    happy thanksgiving everyone, God bless

  16. #16
    Everything I have is slow 2001GTTT's Avatar
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    have a good one everyone
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    Senior Member coralcoupe1993's Avatar
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    I just put this 23.5 punder in the oven and I will do a 9lb in the deepfryer...

    Food, beer (had about a case last night) and wine!

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    GREEN=FAST sweeney1030's Avatar
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    goble boble - enjoy

  19. #19
    Senior Member mustang50lx's Avatar
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    Happy Thanksgiving

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    EVERYTHING'S FOR SALE 92306gt's Avatar
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    i feel fat now

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