I got a chuckle out of this ad...
http://grandrapids.craigslist.org/cto/4669860983.html
condition: good
1996 Ford Bronco odometer: 125000 paint color : black size : full-size type : SUV drive : 4wd fuel : gas transmission : automatic title status : clean cylinders : 8 cylinders
First, let me tell you that just by clicking on this ad you have made a life changing decision.
What I present to you is the magnificent OJ-Mobile. WOW.
Before planning your next 'get away', wether it be a weekend excursion, or a leisurely drive down a southern California freeway; picture yourself in the Ford Bronco. With its manly, squared stance and removable hard top you can enjoy that lovely June breeze flowing through your freshly maintained hair cut. Best of all due to the newly installed mp3/CD player not even a police siren could ruin your drive.
The round flowing fenders of this vehicle have been lovingly reconstructed by a Dutch craftsman out of, what could be considered the most precious material on earth, bondo. Thus recreating its original glory, this truck could easily make 2,000 rushing yards in a season. There are many other new additions to this beautifully artistic rendition: including a redesigned drivers side floorboard, remastered styling of the rear tailgate, and a very pronounce jawline of its front bumper not seen on the average Bronco. Thankfully, due to its cavernous center council and spacious glove box those of you who have a CCW have a plethora of options for storage.
I will tell you though, owning a bronco is a privilege. Only those generous and pure of heart can ever wish to own something so precious. Next, imagine finally burying the hatchet with your ex. As you pull up to her drive, obviously showing off to her that you're doing quite well with your brand new XLT package vehicle. You offer her a gift, that set of Ross Cutlery knives she has always wanted. Have no fear, this bronco comes with a redesigned exhaust system that is whisper quiet. Giving you that much needed element of surprise to really make her evening. Not even the dog will know you've arrived.
I know what you must be thinking, "I deserve to own this vehicle, but what about its age? The past 18 years must have taken a toll on it."
Sir, and or Ma'am, please. There is only one phrase that can come to mind when thinking about this Bronco "It got better with age" unlike other cars this one won't be shut down and locked up to rot.
The 5.0L engine comes with 8 of the strongest american made cylinders money can buy. You could say this truck really has 'The Juice' to get up and go. The transmission is of top notch quality too, with no slipping, grinding, or hard shifting into gears not even the Judicial system can stop you. As for the differential: just like Shapiro the 4x4 capabilities of this truck can get you out of any situation.
Your next thought is obviously, "How can I ever afford such an outstanding piece of art?" Don't worry, everyone will be shocked by how easy you got off as you drive off into the sunset a free man.
Last, I would love to offer you my leather driving gloves with the purchase of this vehicle. However, they probably won't fit anyway.
It's apparent your pretty blown away but what you've just seen. Please, sit back. Take a moment. Re-collect yourself and click on the 'Contact' button above when your feel you're ready.
Oh, and please, no calls after 10:20pm
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
post id: 4669860983 posted: 16 days ago updated: 7 days ago email to friend ♥ best of [?]
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