Mark, add this to your ghey joke file !!!

**Troll** · 09-20-2006, 02:45 PM

Ida, 93 years old, was despondent over the recent death of her husband, Oscar, so she decided to just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Oscar's old army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it already was broken.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to learn her heart's exact location.

"Since you're a woman," the doctor said, "your heart is just below your left breast. Why do you ask?" Ida hung-up without answering.

Later that night, Ida was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

**u1arunit** · 09-20-2006, 04:30 PM

This letter was sent to the principal's office after an elementary school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An old lady had received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you.

Dear Faculty and Students:

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens' luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at an Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio. Before I received this one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day, her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of little pieces. It was awful and she was in tears.

She asked if she could listen to mine, and I said f*ck you.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity.

Sincerely,
Agnes