26 Ways to keep your girl happy
1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This
will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness.
If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will
impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).
3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls
are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she
is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will
show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be
her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and
every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when
she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because
jewelry is for pu$$ies.
7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she
is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words "F**K you" and grab the other
girl's a$$. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for mile so she
thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard.
When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now
you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts
crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and
whispervery quietly into her ear "...because I can."
9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those
special nicknames.
10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her our jacket,
becausethen you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you
don't stop complaining about the cold right now, you're going to be
complaining about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the
bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the
party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night.
13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet.
Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny...why shouldn't girls?
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10
minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home
and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).
16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her
self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep
down desires to be.
17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or
anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way,
she'll go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt
and say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy
that speaks for her.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls
love a spontaneous guy.
20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it
(but not a sexy cologne smell...a bad smell. You know what I'm talkingabout).
21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say "no,
it'sjust the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to
stop crying. Girls like a tough man.
22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.
23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no.
This way she'll think you're mysterious.
24. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that
material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important isthat
she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she can
ever get.
25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just
whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know
she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the
present visibly sticking out of the can.
26. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will,
promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make
sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're going to
tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited, then don't call
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Funny!!!
Originally Posted by 383taman
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